8/15/2023 0 Comments Demi and kenny boom boom roomCorrect me if I’m wrong, but I believe this is how contestants on this show were supposed to act once upon a time, before it became all about Instagram #ads. At dinner, GSJ tells Serena that if he’s not meeting or dating anyone promising, he doesn’t need to be here. Next up are our two unproblematic faves (please don’t prove me wrong, guys). Grocery Store Joe (GSJ) and Serena P.’s wrestling date Tre comforts him by saying that “she definitely displayed human trash bag behavior,” because he has a real way with words. Aaron is unwell, and even more so than usual. Tammy, who thus far has been coupled up with hot-but-very-bothered Aaron, takes Aaron’s sworn enemy, Thomas, to the daybed to make out with, without so much as glancing at Aaron. I’m not even going to attempt a triangle pun on this one, because I’m fairly certain none of them passed high school geometry. Just play it out.” While I, too, would have chosen Riley over troubadour Connor, let’s just go ahead and rip off the break-up bandaid already, Maurissa!Īh, yet another complicated situation. Connor asks her to hang out that night, to which she responds, “I don’t know, we’ll see how the day goes. She also notes that Riley is a good kisser, which is undoubtedly a dig at Connor. This is fair, because Maurissa and Riley spent the previous night in the Boom Boom Room, and let’s just say they were the last ones up and at ‘em on the beach in the morning. Connor is head-over-heels for Maurissa, but homegirl only has eyes for Riley. We’ve got another love triangle here as well, although this one is for sure scalene. Demi gives Kenny a ~birthday treat~ in the Boom Boom Room, then petty Kenny announces that he and Mari are officially over right before the rose ceremony, which is so out of pocket. Demi says, “Mari wants to have her cake and eat it too, so she threw mine in the fire,” which is a good sign that she’s finally figured out her cake analogies. Later in the episode, though, the triangle comes to a, well, 60-degree point? Demi throws Kenny a belated 40th birthday party because she needs to stay relevant, and Kenny eats that sh*t up-metaphorically speaking, because Mari throws his birthday cake in the fire. In Kenny’s defense, Mari had just told him that she’d be open to going on a date with another guy, should he ask her, which seemed to come as a shock to our resident boy band manager. She pulls Kenny aside and they start making out, while Mari’s eyes bug right out of her head. Kenny-the 40-year-old not-virgin-and Mari have been an item for awhile, so obviously Demi has to homewreck. You all know my stance on Demi by now, and she somehow out-Demis herself in this episode. Nobody Chris make out with fruit in their mouths, which, as a professional fruit hater, makes me want to vomit. Jessenia reveals that she gets turned on by a guy breathing on her décolletage, in case anyone was wondering. The date takes place on a triple XL bed with an “intimacy guru” present, so yes, they return to the beach with a copy of the Kama Sutra in hand. They ask Deandra and Jessenia, respectively, out on a double date, sending Karl and sweetie cutie Ivan straight into their respective bags. So, let’s discuss.Ĭhasen-of “smokeshow” fame-and Chris-of no fame whatsoever-arrive on the beach arm-in-arm, because apparently they have a bromance going on. And yes, it’s what it sounds like.) I daresay it’s the most dramatic week (of this season) ever. This week was full of breakups, love triangles and several trips to the Boom Boom Room (Yes, they call it that. We’re back with another double-header, and this one was a doozy. Welcome to “Here for the Wrong Reasons,” where each week I’ll be recapping all of the champagne-guzzling and petty “Can I steal you for a second?”s of Season 7 of “Bachelor in Paradise.” Nothing boosts your confidence about your own love life like watching a bunch of desperate 20-somethings competing for a stranger’s affection! Check in every Tuesday (or Wednesday, because this season is wilding) for episode recaps and updates on your favorite “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” rejects’ journeys to become Instagram influencers find love.
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